Confessions of a Cheater~ Just Like Eve

The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.  –  H. L. Mencken

I’ve heard the best love is forbidden love, a love that you know is no good for you, a love that makes you feel so high one moment and lower than low the next. There is nothing more intoxicating than a forbidden love, a love you can’t tell even your closest friends about, a love that you hate to admit to yourself exists. Yeah, there is nothing at all like a forbidden love. So many times we hear the stories of men who are unfaithful, the stories of men having a mistress or a side chick. The stories of women finding out their man has taken a bite of the forbidden fruit that is infidelity. What about women? Are women not capable of being unfaithful? The truth of it is, women are capable and very guilty of being unfaithful, the difference between men and women is that we have less of a tendency to be sloppy and get caught. If you don’t mind I’d like to take you into the mind of a cheater.

“Monogamy or whatever you call it, I’m starting to think it ain’t for everybody.Most of us rushing into it anyways.” ~Wale “Bad”

There are very people who enter into a relationship with the intent to cheat. The point of committing is to be monogamous, however for some monogamy has become ancient history or urban legend. The tradition of true commitment is antiquated and a thing of times gone past for some. I ask the question, what is the point of making a committment to a relationship if you are going to cheat? If that person doesn’t have all the qualities it takes to please you then why get involved? Valid questions with no simple answers. In the beginning a person could have everything you believe you want and need in a mate, but as days becomes weeks and weeks turn to months things begin to change and you question your choice. The man who once looked so good to you, isn’t all that anymore, you start to notice the small things you didn’t notice before during courtship. He no longer opens doors, he holds you differently, the way he brushes his teeth or leaves his shoes and basketball shorts in the middle of the floor start to slowly irk you. Once one thing begins to bother you everything they do becomes a problem. You begin to question the choice you made to sign an unwritten contract with this person, but you have committed so you stay. It doesn’t take long before you dread going home and being within five feet of the man you once couldn’t stand to be apart from. Once you have reached the point of aggravation it won’t be long before you are easily tempted.   Continue reading

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Sally Hemings of the 21st Century

Shonda Rhimes is probably the most hated black woman in America right now, since this time last year she has kept us all on the edge of our seats, flying by the seat of our pants waiting and watching to see what happens next with Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington) and Fitzgerald Grant (Fitz) (Tony Goldwyn) on the hit show “Scandal”.

For the past two seasons loyal viewers or “Gladiators” have been on an emotional rollercoaster as we watch to see which way the torrid affair between Liv and Fitz will go. I will be the first to admit I am “Team Fitz”, despite the nature and the scandal of their relationship I want him to get the girl he is so in love with. timthumbWomen are quick to express their disdain for infidelity but glue themselves to the television every Thursday. I was scrolling my Instagram newsfeed during the season finale last week and came across and interesting comparison. Olivia Pope is the modern-day Sally Hemings.

Sarah “Sally” Hemings is rumored to have been the slave mistress of President Thomas Jefferson and that he fathered at least four of her six children. Do I dare say that the comparison between the two affairs is valid? After analyzing both (although one is completely fictional and scripted) I would have to agree there is a valid argument.
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Dirty Laundry ~Music Review~

kelly-rowland-dirty-laundryKelly Rowland has slowly but surely stepped out of the shadow of Beyonce’ and she is coming out of the corner like Ali in his prime. I am not a bandwagon Kelly Ro fan, she has always been my favorite Destiny’s Child member. Keeping with the momentum Kelly released a new single yesterday entitled, “Dirty Laundry” In this song Kelly confesses her deepest secrets, singing about her resentment of Queen Bey and a previous relationship in which she endured domestic abuse. Undoubting one of the realist and dopest songs of this year thus far Kelly is pulling out all the stops. I personally live as I watch Kelly come for the crown. This is the second single off her upcoming album “Talk a Good Game” which is scheduled to be released June 18th. With the help of The Dream this song is sure-fire classic.

What do you think of Kelly’s new song? Did she go to far? Is she airing too much of her dirty laundry?

Fans and critics alike are supporting the “game changer” as Gabriel Union called it.

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Secret Lovers

“No relationship is worth hiding. And if you have to hide it, maybe it’s not worth having.”

What if your significant other told you they wanted to keep your relationship a secret? If they told you they didn’t want your friends to know that the two of you were an item? How would that make you feel? What if you couldn’t tell the world of the love you shared? How would that make you feel? Does a person wanting to keep their personal relationship a secret devalue the situation? For the longest time people could only speculate about the relationship status of Jay-z and Beyonce, still to this day I have yet to even see a wedding photo of the two. For a couple who spent so much time in the public eye they managed to keep the public out of their bedroom.beyonceandjayz Ultimately this has proven that the less people know about what goes on behind closed doors the less problems your relationship will endure. So I wonder, can a relationship that is born in secrecy and hidden from the eye of the public survive or does it need onlookers and commentary from outside observers?

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Dear Mama,

Ma,

As of this day you and I have been together for 28 years and a day. There hasn’t been a day throughout those 28 years that I don’t thank GOD for blessing me with you. Motherhood for you couldn’t have been easy with me as your child, but you’ve managed to raise me into the woman I have come to be and done so with grace, style, and poise. It wasn’t until I was twelve years old that I truly witnessed your strength and your willingness to do what you had to in order to protect me. I’ve learned from you how to be a mother (I am sure Laethan appreciates that) and I think I’m pretty good at it. As much as you are an awesome mother to me and my sister you are an even greater “Nana” to my son. Without you I would be lost. Like any mother/daughter relationship we have had our trials and tribulations, our ups and our downs but I know that no matter what I can always depend on you. As I get older I realize that everything about me is you, my eyes, my nose, my attitude and even my hips (a smaller version of course).mom3 I am proud to be the daughter of a woman who sacrificed so much of herself to give me everything .MOM2

“I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
my Mommy you’ll be.”

Happy Mother’s Day,

Love,

Bren

 

Your Girl Vs Me Tee

sidechickfrontKeeping up with the momentum, “Your Girl Vs. Me” shirts are now available. All sizes and alternate colors availble. You don’t have to be a side chick to rock this shirt it’s all about being confident.

For pricing and ordering emails can be sent to BrendolynMarie@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

sidechickshirt

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I Wonder..

Since the premiere of the hit ABC show Scandal last year there has been a spotlight placed on infidelity, mistresses and side chicks. This is no new epidemic, men have been unfaithful for years but there was no public spectacle to made about it. Mistresses are nothing new, Elizabeth Taylor was Richard Burton’s mistress for years before becoming his on again off again wife and ex-wife. Women who choose to engage in intimate relationships with men are either married or in a relationship are highly scrutinized by society, but one thing you don’t and won’t hear about are men that play the sideline. What a shocker it must be for a man to realize that he is a side line nigga. It has been my experience that men don’t think that it can happen to them, that women aren’t smart enough to play their game and make them number two. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there is a such thing as a nigga on the side. 


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Confessions of a Fun Boy

Urban Dictionary defines the term Fun Boy as such;A male with latent homosexual tendencies who enjoys the company of other males” . The term fun boy is used when referencing men who exhibit all the behaviors of that of a homosexual male. In most cases these men deny having homosexual tendencies and often times go to extreme measures to prove they aren’t “fun boys”. With the recent allegations of football player Kerry Rhodes by former assistant/lover Russell “Hollywood” Simpson it seems that many ”side boos” (Side Boo= the male version of a side chick) are no longer willing to keep their lovers dirty little secret. Brothers being on the “down low” is nothing shocking, this epidemic of underworld boy on boy action while having a wife, girlfriend or children at home has been going on for years. It seems that Hollywood being willing to come forward with his truth has opened Pandora’s Box, allow me to take you into the world of a fun boy. kerry_rhodes_gay_russell_simpson

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Throwback Thursday

mariah-carey-vision-of-love_thelavalizardOne of the most talented voices of all time next to Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey in her prime was unlike any other artist. “Vision of Love” is a pure classic from Mariah. By far my favorite song by Nick’s Wife.

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Married or Single? Pick a Box

When you fill out a job application or a credit application and you get to the “Marital Status” question you are offered on of five options; “Married”, “Single”, “Seperated”, ”Divorced” or ”Widowed”. (never married is sometimes an added irrelevant option it’s the same as single). Nowhere on that application is there a box for “in a long-term relationship” or “living with my boyfriend”. Only on Facebook can you claim “In a relationship” or “It’s complicated”. marital-status-optionsTo put it plainly, society does not acknowledge a relationship that has not been consummated by marriage. Many, myself included believe that a piece of paper should not be needed to validate your love for someone, unfortunately unless you have that piece of paper you are single. You generally can not go to your job’s human resource office and say “I want to cover my girlfriend on my insurance” (unless this a domestic partner which is ass backwards if you ask me. The fact that a same-sex domestic partnership will be acknowledged before a “relationship” is baffling) I know this is a shocking thing for some but unfortunately it’s the truth and the truth hurts. It used to be that  you could live with someone for seven years and common law in Missouri acknowledged this as a marriage, that law was abolished in 1921. People will argue that a relationship is just as worthy to be acknowledged as a marriage, while I will agree I will also disagree. The sanctity of a relationship is up to you and your girlfriend/boyfriend not others, marriage is respected by all because it is something that was adorned under the eye of GOD. This is no way a religious post, however, as quoted in the good book; “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). “To be united with wife not his babymama or his girlfriend”, although, the Bible does not specifically state it is wrong for an adult man and adult woman who are unrelated to live together, it condemns sexual intimacy before marriage and it reveals that God has only one plan for a man and woman living together – marriage.Wedding Ring
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